Posted by: Kim_Hamilton on 02/07/2010 01:08 PM
Updated by: thepinetree on 02/07/2010 10:20 PM
Expires: 01/01/2015 12:00 AM
Welcome to the Country~by Local Author Charity Maness
So you’ve decided to move to the country where…fund raisers bring on raffle prizes of all shapes, sizes, and oddities. We certified country folk are real clever when it comes to raising money for our favorite charity, organization or local friend in need. We hold chili cook off’s, bingo games, casino nights, spaghetti feeds, and motorcycle runs, to name a few. And as always, accompanying these great community events are the coveted raffle prizes. Raffle prizes are usually displayed in all their glory for the potential ticket purchaser to drool over, calculate their luck, and then buy tickets for what seems like mere pennies. Some events the raffle ticket salesman/saleswoman are generous enough to sell you tickets based on your height for only $10.00! This, of course, is where you find your tallest friend to be measured in your .......
stead, hence getting a larger amount of tickets raising the probability that you will win that hot pink metallic bicycle with the glittery pompoms on the handlebars for your precious niece. Though coming home with the basket of Ironstone wine wouldn’t be a bad option either. However, we all forget to add into the equation that the guy next to us borrowed our friend as well to measure for his tickets, lowering our potential winning probability. Figuring the new probability would take too much brain power to recalculate, so instead we calmly ignore the sale of other tickets holding on to our dreams of bicycle ownership and have another beer.
You will also note at your first country type fund raising event that there seem to be more raffle prizes than guests. This is a good thing. Then you wonder how they managed to get all that stuff. Well, we country folks are a generous lot. The local businesses constantly and generously seem to supply every raffle event from school fundraisers to chili cook offs. But, we can’t forget the community at large that riffle through the Christmas gifts they received from a long lost Auntie in Tennessee and generously re-gift them as a raffle prize. This is where we get some of the craziest and zaniest prizes, notably the velvet Elvis painting that resembles a Picasso.
Some of the raffle prizes tickle the funny bone and leave the raffle announcer puzzled as to what words to use to describe the interesting prize. For instance; at one local event a beautiful 2’L x 12”H wooden shelf accent engraved with the word ‘DREAM’ was the next raffle prize to be raffled off by our esteemed local raffless, that would be a person of great raffle calling talent, when the person handing it to her accidentally knocked over a cocktail sitting on the table causing the prize to become soaked in alcohol. Not to be daunted by such a small catastrophe the raffles announced that the next raffle prize was…a wet dream!
You may need to read that one again. I know I did.
While some prizes are down right funny, others leave you scratching your head, like the hanging half hog. That one was a doozy. And it hung there all through the dinner. I lost my appetite early on. What a shame, it looked like a delicious chioppino. Or the cool skateboard that the grandma won. Or, 1 cubic yard of road base. Let’s not forget the ever present dozen farm fresh eggs. The list goes on and on. But I think my most recent raffle ticket purchase will beat them all. I purchased a raffle ticket, actually multiple raffle tickets, for a gun. Yep, you read right. Not just any gun. A Springfield XD 40 cal Sub Compact gun! What the heck? If that in itself isn’t strange enough, printed on the front of the ticket the disclaimer read: must be 21 years of age without a criminal record. No really? Maybe I’m strange, but that made me laugh out loud, and for a long time.
I suppose I will have to donate it to another raffle if I win. After all I was just trying to help out a good cause.
Until next time…welcome to the country.
www.charitymaness.com
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